is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
