When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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