The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
