yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
