If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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