to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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