so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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