That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He uses pillows to masturbate.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
