just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she looked like the before picture.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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