there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
