I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
