I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
