She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
