So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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