My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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