Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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