nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
