**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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