There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Come share oat with me in your robe
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
