My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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