did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
