This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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