she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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