I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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