Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Less talking, more tequila
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
