butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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