hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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