no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize