Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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