PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize