why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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