You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You know, be my cock's hype man.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
