all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
