So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize