I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
