nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
