I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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