He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
