Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize