So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
