My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Randomize
