last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
