And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I could fuck to npr.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
