You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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