so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
