Define "chronic" masturbator.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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