We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
