but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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