I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
