absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
