i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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