I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
its not stalking. its research.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
