Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
