you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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