we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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