He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize