triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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