i just wanna soil my oats bro
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
