I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
