So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
