Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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