oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
