mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
