3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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