you turned your livingroom into a bong?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
