if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
