If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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