can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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