plz talk dirty to me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
