Need sex. Gaining weight.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize