i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize