would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
