at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
